Panic in London

May 13, 2025

In my previous post in this series I shared a story about a powerful experience I had of the Father's love. I had heard my Father's voice speaking words of love and affirmation over me, and I felt greatly loved and affirmed afterwards. But only for a few days, and then I was my old insecure self again. Why? 


Why were the spiritual highs I experienced by encountering the living God always followed by desolate lows? Why couldn't I cement in my heart once and for all that my Father loves me? He gave the life of His only Son in exchange for me — isn't that enough? But that happened almost two thousand years ago. What about His love for me today


In fact God has given me many proofs of His love for me. Six years after I met God, I was walking down a street somewhere. I was full of passion for following Jesus, but I was also a young man approaching thirty who was lonely and had no career in sight. I remember praying this prayer based on Ephesians 3:18:


Father, I know by now I should filled to the height and depth and breadth and length with your love, but to be honest, all I really want at this point in my life is a wife, a car and a career. 


Very spiritual, wasn't I? And yet around a year later I was married, had a job as a high-school teacher, and had been given a free car. God loves when we are honest and He doesn't tolerate bullshit (a.k.a. hypocrisy, but I like the contemporary word better). And when that happened, I started to "get it" that God really did love me — in the here and now, and not just theologically. 


But despite such spiritual experiences and answers to prayer, I still struggled with insecurity and self-doubt for many years, until one day when Ingrid and I were on vacation in London, England. 


We had run out of cash (British pounds) and had used up our traveller's cheques. My debit card wouldn't work in the UK because of some issue. All we had were our credit cards, but we needed cash since not every establishment accepted credit cards. So I started to enter panic mode.


We went to a bank nearby, but they said they couldn't help us. Finally after running around for some time, we found a bank that with the help of our passports and phone calls was willing to advance us some cash on our credit cards. 


"I am never going to let this happen to us again, " I shouted as we left the bank. I was in full-on panic mode by this time, and was determined to wear several money belts full of cash if we ever travelled outside Canada again. 


And then at that moment I remembered something the Lord had spoken to me after we had been told we were done with the church-planting internship program we had been taking at a Vineyard church on the West Coast. I had felt like a failure because I hadn't demonstrated that I could multiply the homegroup we had started, and afterwards as I was reading through Isaiah part of a verse spoke to me:


Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you... (Isa 43:4 NIV)


When I read this I thought: that's the first time that God has said "I love you" to me. I felt somewhat encouraged and filed the words away in my journal, but deep down they didn't make much difference in how I felt about myself. But in London when those words came back to me, I suddenly understood why God had reminded me of them. Because if I am precious to Him, I need not have any fear about anything. And if I am honored in his sight, then I shouldn't consider myself a failure in His sight. 


Precious — no fear.


Honored — no failure.


And, of course, loved.


So I used this verse to wrestle down the fear and panic that had been overwhelming me, and we continued with our vacation and enjoyed our remaining time in the UK. 


And what had I learned? That I must exercise faith when God speaks to me or reveals Himself to me. I must believe what He says to me, and continue to believe even in the face of circumstances. 


The following story in Mathew 14:22-31 is important in this regard:


Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"


While the heading for this passage in most Bibles is "Jesus walks on water" or something similar, a much better heading would be "Peter tries to walk on water." Because the lesson is really about learn how we, as followers of Jesus like Peter was, must learn how to exercise — and to continue to exercise — faith in every circumstance. It's the difference between walking on water or sinking into the depths of self-doubt and despair.


I've had many powerful experiences of God over the years: I've heard His voice, seen Him on His throne, and had other foretastes of the powers of the age to come (Hebrews 6:5). But until I began applying myself to believe what He says to me, especially concerning His love for me in Christ, the impact of all these many experiences didn't last.


And this — resolving to believe God — is what has finally enabled me to cement in my heart my Father's affirming love towards me, and to erase the roots of insecurity and self-doubt from my heart.


Not that I'm already perfect — but I'm getting there. 


May you get there too, and soon! 

—Mitch

January 27, 2026
We've finished the outline for our next book Simple Kingdom: Word and Spirit and are ready to begin writing it. I'll be posting draft chapters here on our website so those of you who are interested can read them as we finish them.
January 18, 2026
If reading my testimony has resonated in your heart and you want to know more about how one can enter into a personal relationship with God, this article which I've just uploaded to our Resources section can help show you the way. And for those of you trying to bring others into God's kingdom, feel free to use the article as a guide for explaining the gospel message to them. --Mitch
January 10, 2026
I've revised a few things in my personal testimony with some clarifications and additions. You can check it out here .
December 23, 2025
Times are difficult for the average person here in Canada. One indication of this Ingrid and I have noticed as we drive around is the number of cars we see that have a non-working headlight or brakelight. It seems people are trying to reduce their spending by not getting their cars serviced. This is not a good idea -- cars need to be maintained properly, and driving without working lights endangers both yourself and others. But with stubbornly high food inflation, rising housing and insurance costs, and wages not keeping pace, people are having to make hard choices about where they should allocate their money. Times are even harder for the poor in our society. While their are many kinds of poverty, and many reasons people may be poor, the ones the Lord has especially laid on our hearts are the poor elderly that live among us. For example, yesterday we did our weekly grocery shopping. Our first stop was Safeway, a chain of grocery stores here in Canada. As I walked around to get some items we needed, I quickly noticed some elderly people who looked like they were struggling to make ends meet. The old man who bought only a single litre of milk. The sad-looking elderly couple who slowly pushed their shopping cart through each and every aisle looking at items but not putting anything in their cart. I also noticed that the store had far more comfort food (chips, popcorn, candy, chocolate) on display than it had fresh fruit and vegetables in the produce section. That's another sign of how times are hard for people, prioritizing snacks that have low nutritional value (and high profit margins for the store) over healthy but expensive fresh foodstuffs. While the official rate of inflation here in Canada has now declined to just over 2 percent, the reality is that the cost of basic necessities (food, clothing, transportation and housing) for many people has risen by a huge amount over the last few years. This has impacted elderly people living on a fixed income, especially those who depend mostly upon the Canadian Pension Plan (CPP) and Old Age Security (OAS) since those government payments have not increased nearly as much as the cost of living. It's an old story, isn't it, of governments and news media making misleading statements and promises about the real state of the economy. For example, our Prime Minister here in Canada during the 1970s, Pierre Elliott Trudeau, was a popular and charismatic figure during a time of revolutionary idealism. But in a news clipping from the 1970 Christmas Eve edition of the Winnipeg Tribune newspaper, Prime Minister Trudeau was quoted as saying that "Inflation no longer exists in Canada" and was reported to have also said that "the fight against inflation has been won" and "the government's anti-inflation performance was unequalled in any country in the Western world."
December 14, 2025
A friend recently asked if I had any advice on how to equip members of his church to pray more effectively for the sick. I responded by sharing with him some materials I had developed for this purpose many years ago when Ingrid and I were Ministry Team Coordinators at a Vineyard church. We had used these materials to conduct a series of workshops for members of our church and for visitors from other churches. You can download a PDF of our Ministry Team Training materials from the new Resources page on our website, and if you find it useful feel free to share it with others. Cheers,  Mitch
December 11, 2025
The draft version of the Introduction section of our next book Simple Kingdom: Word and Spirit is now finished. You can read it here .
November 29, 2025
Hello everyone, I've just restored all the blog posts that I deleted a few weeks ago. The reason I did this is because last night I had a dream which I think was from the Lord. It was a very brief dream and I won't describe it in detail, but the gist of it was that our blog has value for those in certain corners of God's kingdom even though I had lately grown dissatisfied with it. But that's just me, I'm still a perfectionist at heart and usually spend too much time trying to get things right instead of just getting them done, warts and all. I'm reminded also of a story Carol Wimber told in her book The Way It Was about a prophetic word that was spoken out loudly during the early days of the Vineyard where the Holy Spirit said "I have made you a MARKETPLACE and I can take it away if I choose to!" I'm quoting here from memory, but the idea is that our lives as Christians should be an open book to the world around us so they can see the reality of the living God despite our numerous faults and failings. So the blog is back, though a couple of posts I felt were irrelevant have been removed. I've also made a brand new start on writing our next book Simple Kingdom: Word and Spirit and should have the Introduction at least finished and posted here before Christmas. The rest of the book will probably have to wait until the beginning of the new year as things get pretty busy around here during the Holiday Season. For example, tomorrow we're having a First Advent celebration in our home with family and friends who all go to different churches including Baptist, Brethren, Mennonite, Pentecostal and Vineyard. These are my favorite kinds of church gatherings, and the early home fellowships we started way back in the 80s and 90s often had people joining us from different denominations like this. So tomorrow we're going to be singing Christmas carols together and eating lotsa goodies as we celebrate the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ into the world "to save us all from Satan's power when we had gone astray. O tidings of comfort and joy!"  Peace and joy to all of you, Mitch
November 29, 2025
Hello everyone, Our original goal in launching this website three years ago was to write and publish a series of free PDF ebooks on five key aspects of the kingdom of God. These "keys to the kingdom" are intended to help Christians become better followers of Jesus. So far we've managed to publish three books in our Simple Kingdom series, covering the areas of worship, discipleship and fellowship. You can download our free books and also read them in full online. We still have two more Simple Kingdom titles we feel God has laid on our hearts to write: Word and Spirit, on how the Holy Spirit speaks to us through the Scriptures; and Spritual Warfare, a practical guide on resisting the Devil. The problem though is that each time we start writing one of these books, we get attacked! For example, when we started writing Word and Spirit way back in September of last year, we immediately got hit with some unexpected breakdowns in our home that occupied a lot of time and energy as well as costing considerable money. And we also experienced some worrysome health issues which, in addition to the financial stress of home repairs, caused us to scale back our writing efforts. Because of this in December I thought it might be better to shelve writing whole books for awhile and just start a blog on our site where I could post short articles on different topics like worship, healing, evangelism, and so on. But having tried with difficulty to keep a blog running for almost a year, I've now come to realize that blogging regularly is hard work! And more importantly, it's been keeping me from finishing the task God has assigned us of writing these Simple Kingdom books. So I've made the decision to stop blogging and get back to work with Ingrid on finishing our series of Simple Kingdom books. I've also deleted all my old blog posts and will instead be using this blog, which has now been renamed Site Updates, to post short updates like this to keep you informed of our progress. Some of my deleted blog posts may get repurposed later, either in future books or as standalone articles, but for now I'm shelving such ideas until we can finish the two remaining Simple Kingdom books the Lord has told us to write. Our plan going forward then is to post short updates like this twice a month here on our homepage. You can also receive these updates directly in your inbox by subscribing to our email newsletter . And be sure to subscribe to our SoundCloud stream where we'll be uploading new worship songs when we have the time and energy to record them. Anyways, please contintue to pray for us, especially that we can stay focused on the task God has given us to do. Thank you! Cheers, Mitch and Ingrid
September 6, 2025
I'm seventy-one. And unless the Lord returns soon, I'm going to experience death someday, just like Jesus did. And then I'll live forever in the presence of God, just like Jesus does. And while I still believe that healing is the children's bread (Matthew 15:21-28) — that it's God's will that our sicknesses and infirmities be healed through faith — growing old does change one's perspective a bit with regard to the ministry of healing. A few years ago this was brought home to me through a chronic condition involving my bum. Or buttocks if you prefer a less colloquial word. Or derriere if you want to be fancy. Or whatever you feel comfortable calling it :-) Since I was a young man I've experienced, on and off, problems with pain and bleeding from my rectum. Once it got so bad I decided to see a proctologist, who discovered I had an anal fissure (a crack in the skin inside the rectum). He recommended surgery, and I agreed to it. This solved the problem for a time, but eventually my love of spicy food led to recurrence of the condition. And when I went on a modified Atkins Diet to lose some excessive weight, the resulting constipation due to insufficient fiber left me in so much pain that I sometimes had to spend hours in a hot bath seeking relief. Eating several bran muffins each day eventually brought the condition under control (though it derailed my attempt at weightloss) and though I've now given up eating Kung Po Chicken and hot Indian Curry dishes, it's still frustrating how often restaurants incorporate black pepper or paprika into many of their dishes. At this point I'm sure you're saying "Ick!" at hearing all this stuff. But don't worry, I'll soon get to the "spiritual" point of my story. It goes without saying that whenever I was experiencing such pain, I asked for prayer, primarily from my wife. And while Ingrid has an anointing in the healing area (see this story for more about the gift of healing God has given Ingrid) on each occasion no divine (i.e. supernatural) healing seemed to take place. Only when I altered my diet (by adding more fiber and avoiding spicy/peppery foods) together with treatment (e.g. Tylenol, suppositories etc.) was the pain mitigated. But several years ago I experienced an especially bad episode of bum pain after we had a dinner out to celebrate the ending of our business and start of our retirement. I woke up after midnight in excruciating pain and went upstairs to sit in my soft comfy prayer-chair. And I prayed, hard, crying out to the Lord for his healing power. And the Holy Spirit suddenly spoke to me saying, "You must manage your condition." And I understood immediately that my chronic bum problems have been largely due to my habitually poor eating habits over the years. Since then it's been more daily fiber (e.g. lots of vegetables every supper, and a bran muffin with a few dates for dessert) no spicy foods (I used to love BBQ potato chips) and avoid any prepared or restaurant foods that might have pepper or Cajun seasoning in them (e.g. no more hamburgers, favor alfredo sauce over tomato sauce for pastas etc.) and eat home-cooked meals most days (easier now that we're retired). And I've had no bum problems since I chose to obey what God told me to do. Just a few more thoughts... Is this really a healing story? Yes, I believe it is; it's an example of healing by word of instruction. See this story by me for another example, and read also the story in chapter 20 of Second Kings of how Hezekiah's painful boil was healed. What I actually heard the Holy Spirit say to me was just the word "manage." But from past experience praying for the sick I've often received only partial revelation from the Lord concerning the situations and conditions I was praying for. And I remember John Wimber mentioning something similar in one of his sermons, how words of knowledge sometimes come to him like whispers that are easily missed or overlooked. If you want to learn more about praying for people who have chronic illnesses or conditions, I strongly recommend that you read Wimber's book Power Healing as this topic is covered somewhere in his book. And by the way, if you need someone to discreetly pray for healing for some "sensitive" part of your body, it's probably best if you ask your husband or wife to do this. Because (presumably) they are familiar with all different the nooks and crannies of your body :-) Anyways, feel free to email me if you have any questions or comments regarding this story or anything else on our site. God bless, and be healed in Jesus' name! —Mitch
July 24, 2025
Just a couple of quick updates about our worship stuff. I've pulled the recordings of a number of the songs on our SoundCloud stream as I haven't been very happy with my recordings of them, either because my singing sucks or they need a new arrangement (i.e. better playing and/or different instruments). Songs that will (eventually) be re-recorded are now listed as such on the Songs page of our website. I also happened to stumble across another verse I had written years ago for my song Lord, Have Mercy which I recently uploaded to SoundCloud . The additional verse goes like this: Son of David! Son of David! Stretch your hand out and make me whole. Heal my body, my mind, my soul. I've added this extra verse to the free PDF leadsheet you can download for this song which has the melody, lyrics and guitar chords so you can learn how to play it :-) Enjoy! --Mitch
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