On the floor again

March 6, 2025

I shared previously how as a young man I had ended up on the floor after being ministered to at a Vineyard conference. That occasion however left me feeling desolate as I ended up crying out "Father, I want to feel your love!" over and over again. Instead of being filled by the Spirit from this experience, I felt nothing but emptiness afterwards.

 

But shortly after this I had a different "floor time" experience. Back then there was no Vineyard church in our city, so Ingrid and I were attending what we thought at the time was the next best thing: a growing Charismatic church located in the downtown area. It wasn't until long after we had left the church that we learned it had previously belonged to the Shepherding Movement.


During one of the Sunday services, the pastor gave out what he felt was a "word from the Lord" that some of those present had told God they had "drawn lines in the sand" and would "not cross them again." He said however that this was wrong and that those who had drawn such lines should come forward and repent.


Frustrated and discouraged from having tried to engage in various ministry activities only to be criticized and rebuffed by leadership, I felt that the pastor's "word" must apply to me. So I went forward and got down on my knees to repent.


I began to pray, telling God how sorry I was that I had drawn those lines in the sand. Then I felt someone's hand on my back, and as the hand started trembling I began to weep. "I'm sorry, Father," I said, repeating this again and again as my eyes began to fill with tears. Then suddenly the Lord spoke to me:


You've never drawn any lines.


"Whaah" I cried, "whaah, whaaah" as tears rolled down my face. This went on a while and then God spoke to me again:


You've always obeyed me.


"Whaaaah! Whaaaaahhh!" I cried loudly as the hand on my back shook strongly. Then He spoke to me one more time:


You're a man after my own heart.


"WHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"


Lying on the floor by this time, I proceeded to sob my heart out, totally oblivious to everything and everyone around me. Then after some time had elapsed and my tears had dried up, I opened my eyes and turned around to find out who had been praying for me.


"What happened, Mitch?" It was my brother-in-law who had laid his hand on me. "Mitch?" he repeated, "What was happening there with you?"


We both stood up. I looked at him and wanted to say, "My name isn't Mitch, it's CHRISTIAN!!" But I just smiled instead and thanked him and said I couldn't share right now, maybe later. Because I didn't want to lose the wonderful feeling I was experiencing at that moment: the feeling of being loved and affirmed by my heavenly Father. The experience was so precious to me that I thought if I should share it I might lose the potency and power of it.


This feeling only lasted several days however and then it dissipated. And by the end of the week I was struggling with insecurity and depression again over not being able to find my place in the church and not being recognized by the leadership for the gifts I felt God had given me. Like my daydream in the house church that I previously used to attend, this new experience of God's love was powerful, but once again it didn't last.


Why not? Probably for several reasons which at the time I just couldn't fathom. But the question always remained: How could I cement in my heart the fact that my Father really loves me? Was there something I needed to do? Or was I doomed to endure a series of spiritual highs followed by desolate lows?


More to come soon.

--Mitch

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July 13, 2026
Hey everyone, summertime is short here in Manitoba so we're taking a break until September 1st. Be sure to come back then to check us out again. In the meantime feel free to browse our books and blog and other free resources for helping you grow your fellowships. Blessings! Mitch and Ingrid
June 18, 2026
By Mitch Tulloch Here's another God Story for those of you who read our blog. We love telling these stories from our life because people can learn from them that God is real and that He loves you and has a plan for your life . A few months ago our kitchen sink got plugged and wouldn't drain. This was a real problem for us because not having a working sink in the kitchen makes it hard to prepare meals and wash dishes! So we called a rooter service and they sent a guy who tried to clear it, but his drain snake wasn't long enough to get all the way down to the blockage. (Our kitchen is on the upper level and our house has several levels.) He then called a second guy who had a 50 foot (15 meter) snake and we anxiously waited for him to arrive. The new guy discovered that our main sewer drain also seemed plugged, so the first thing he did was clear that. Then he used his snake to clear the problem with the kitchen sink and was successful. Fixing the problem, which involved calling two plumbers, took almost the entire day and cost us more than six-hundred dollars. Argh! So we thought the problem had been solved, but then yesterday I noticed water starting to pool in the kitchen sink again. I turned off the tap and the water slowly drained away, but it was clear that there was a partial blockage down at the bottom of the drainpipe that connects under the kitchen sink. Oh no, I thought. Will we have to spend hundreds of dollars on the plumber again? Is this problem going to start recurring frequently? Will we have to tear open the basement wall to expose the drainpipe to fix it? How much will that cost?? My glass was quickly becoming half-full, not half-empty. In other words, I was fearing the worst. Better try to fix this myself first if possible, I decided. So I poured some Drano into the kitchen sink drain, waited a half hour, and then poured a bucket full of hot water into the sink. The water pooled and drained ever so slowly. Rats. What to do? I told Ingrid about the problem and I could tell from her expression that she was worried too. I texted our friends Ken and Bonnie and asked them to pray about our situation. Then I sat down and worried. After wrestling with my anxiety for a while, I thought: Wait a minute. Isn't God my Father? Hasn't he promised to help us in times of difficulty? Now what was that promise He gave me about a dozen years ago...oh yeah, it was this: My hand will be constantly with him, he will be able to rely on my arm. (Psalm 89:21, Jerusalem Bible Translation) So I prayed, "Lord, I need your help. You said your hand will be constantly with me and that I can rely on your arm. So please show me how I can fix this problem." And immediately two things came to mind. The first was that it would be best to wait until morning when the drainpipe has fully drained before trying the Drano approach again, and this time to pour a whole 2.3 liter bottle into the drain because the blockage is way down in the basement and there's a lot of meandering pipe between the sink and the blockage. The second thing that popped into my head was the phrase "boiling water." Aha, I thought: a pail of hot water from the bathtub faucet is at most about 50 degrees Celsius, but a big pot of boiling water heated on the stove will be near 100 degrees so it should have a much greater dissolving effect on any gunk blocking the drainpipe. So was that God who put those thoughts into my mind to help me unplug our drain? Of course! How do I know? Because of His promise to us in James 1:5 which says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Anyways, the next morning I got up early, poured a whole jug of Drano into the sink, put a big pot of water on the stove, waited 30 minutes, and poured the boiling water into the sink. It went down pretty fast. Then I filled up a big bucket of hot water from the bathtub and repeated. The sink drained quickly. Then as a final test, I put the stopper in the sink and filled it right up with hot water and pulled the stopper. The water went down like a stone falling from the sky. Thank you, Lord!!! Lessons learned Reflecting on what happened, I can think of five things that I should remember when problems like this arise: First, remember the promises that God has given you! These may be Bible verses that have "jumped off the page" when you read them, knowing that God specifically means them for your attention. Or they may be prophetic words given to you by others, or words the Holy Spirit has spoken into your heart directly. Whatever way God speaks to you, write it down so you won't forget it, and read them over periodically to keep them fresh in your heart. Second, ask your brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for you! Ken and Bonnie are our longtime friends, and the four of us have walked through many difficulties and challenges in life together. That's what belonging to the Body of Christ is all about: Christians helping Christians because we're members of the same Body. And when one part of your body (your arm, for example) is in pain, your whole body feels it and wants to help. Third, face your problems with courage. A few years ago I was facing some serious difficulty and felt overwhelmed. I turned to the Psalms and was reading one of them in the Septuagint, the ancient Greek translation of the Old Testament, when I came across the word ἀνδρίζου (andrizdou) which is usually translated in English as "be courageous" or "take courage" but literally means "be manly" or better "be a man!" That word really spoke to me at the time, and it helped me successfully face the difficulty I had been experiencing with confidence and courage, knowing that God was on my side. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31). Fourth, address issues before they happen. I used to be a terrible procrastinator, and still am sometimes. I had set a monthly reminder in Outlook that I should use Drano on the kitchen sink once a month, but having put off doing this for several months look what happened. But I've learned my lesson (I hope) and am going to be more serious about maintaining our kitchen sink now. Once a week I'll heat a pot of water on the stove and pour boiling water into the sink. And once a month a whole jug of Drano is going into it. Finally, don't forget to worship and pray. After we went to bed yesterday, Ingrid woke up worried in the middle of the night. So she began singing an old Vineyard worship song to herself: Lord I will put my trust in You And I will not faint Lord I will put my trust in You... ( lyrics for song ) Then Ingrid prayed and asked the Lord to give her a pleasant dream to quell her fears about the situation. And he did — she fell asleep again and slept soundly, and towards morning she had a wonderful dream about us being with her family laughing and having fun together. Look at how much our heavenly Father loves us, who are His children through Jesus! Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. (Psalm 54:4 NIV)
June 17, 2026
Chapter 1 of our latest book Simple Kingdom: Word and Spirit is now available for reading on our website! Work is progressing steadily on this new title and we've decided to make each chapter available as we finish writing them. You can read the chapter here . More coming soon!
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