A father's affirmation

The affirmation of a loving father is important for the emotional development of a growing adolescent. The mother's role is to nurture the young child. The father's role is to prepare the adolescent for separation — for entry into the world as an independent person. 

One day when I was still a young man who had recently married and was starting his career, I went to visit my parents. After talking with my mother and devouring some of her recent baking, I went outside to greet my dad. He was sitting in the back yard with his two golf buddies, the Dawn Patrol, enjoying drinks together and talking about old times. Dad was on supplementary oxygen at the time; it was a couple of years before his death from pulmonary fibrosis. 

I loved my dad, and I know he loved me, but I also knew he wasn't very demonstrative, so I had no expectations as I sat down to join them for a few minutes. I decided however that instead of just being the passive son who mostly listened, I would try to actively join their "adult" conversation. And I did. I asked questions, made comments, and joked around for a while. Then when I got up to say goodbye and leave, I stretched out my arm to shake hands with each of Dad's friends, and last of all with him. 

Dad grasped my hand tightly and squeezed it hard, and looked into my eyes with a smile on his face. I understood immediately what he was silently trying to communicate to me: "I'm proud of you. You're a man now, and you joined us and behaved just like a man should. I'm so proud of you, my son." 

My heart thrilled as I walked to my car. My father had just affirmed my manhood, and for the next couple of days I was flying high. Even now I almost cry as I remember this experience.

Many years later I had a similar experience with my Heavenly Father. The church family I belonged to had allowed idolatry and immorality to creep into their teaching and practice. God showed me that I should address this matter, so I wrote a book and sent it to all of their leaders and to individuals I knew in various congregations. The response I got surprised me. Those who were not in leadership said "Hey, this is good teaching!" Those in leadership however either sharply criticized me or ignored me. But I knew in my heart that I had been faithful, because I did what the Lord had told me to do. 

A few weeks later Ingrid and I were watching an action movie together in our den. We were movie buffs at that time and had built up quite a DVD collection which later on helped us weather the isolation of the COVID lockdown period. 

Anyways, about two-third of the way through the movie, something remarkable happened. Heaven opened, just a crack, up above my left shoulder and near the window in our loft. And a soft voice came from heaven, saying, "My son." This experience only lasted a second or two, then the voice of Tom Cruise or whoever it was entered my awareness again. 

This really happened — I kid you not. 

I immediately understood that my Heavenly Father was affirming me, telling me He was proud of me, of what I had done — being obedient to Him regardless of the cost. But my reaction to this experience surprised me. Unlike my earthly father's handshake many years ago, this time I felt no great emotional high afterwards. Instead, I just felt warm contentment, and silently said "Thanks Father, I love you too" in my heart. 

I guess I'm more mature today than I was back then. But while I may be a fully-grown man now, I'm still just His child. 

May you too know the affirming love of your Heavenly Father. 

—Mitch